hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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