so explain again why im purple
no
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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