just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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