i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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