I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize