I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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