OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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