He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
