i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
