That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
