Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Its about making memories worth repressing
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
