I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
