best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
