He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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