For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
