Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
