As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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