I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
