Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
