How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
