a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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