Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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