Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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