im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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