we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
try to milk me bitch
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