I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How does one acquire holy water?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
