; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
another moral hangover. fuck.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
