whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
