I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
