just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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