which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
