If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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