even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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