Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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