imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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