i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
