Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
