either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
