And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
