if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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