I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
