Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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