By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You've changed since you got that strap on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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