is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize