Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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