Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
