No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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