I'm jealous of your bromance
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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