Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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