that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
