Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
not ubering you a puppy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
