ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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