Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
