i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
