Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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