woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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