so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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