My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
